• Laya

How Not To Lose Yourself In Motherhood

Updated: Jul 12, 2020

Being a mom completely overtakes you, in the best way possible. I know after I had my daughter I did nothing for myself. I thought "okay well I'm a mom now so my life doesn't matter". Eventually, we have to take care of ourselves, whether it's going back to school or opening a business, our passions still matter!

Here are 6 ways I found myself after motherhood, being a mama is so magical but don't forget about yourself along the way.

1. Embrace Your Niche

We all have a passion, maybe for you its painting or running. We all have something that drives us, you may have to look for it but trust me its there. For me it's writing, it helps me feel more like my self, it gets me excited and feeling like I can do anything. Please find your niche, whatever it is, embrace it and let it light your flame.

I'm sure before you got pregnant you had a passion, don't forget about it! it took me about three months after having my daughter to embrace my passion again, but I got there! Start small, maybe you're a fitness enthusiast who used to work out daily but now you can't seem to get off the couch. Instead of thinking of a million reasons not to continue start small, go for a run! Do Something to start feeling like yourself again.

2. Keep Working Towards Your Goals

Achieving goals is what makes life worth living, not to be too deep but imagine a life with no goals? waking up and having nothing pushing you to be the best version of yourself? What would be the point of life? We all have something to work towards, don't stop just because you're a mama. If your passion is playing the piano keep doing it! keep practicing and keep perfecting your art. To live your best life, you have to do what drives you.

3. Don't Give Up Your Social Life

Listen I know by the end of the week you're completely exhausted. Going out for drinks with your friends sounds like hell compared to sitting on your couch watching Netflix. You need to go! You will not regret laughing with your friends all night I promise.

For God's sake don't be one of those people who stop talking to their childless friends just because you're a mom. Sure there are going to be things they can't relate to, like how hard breastfeeding is or how difficult losing the baby weight has been. But chances are there willing to listen, and they'll fill your ears with their own set of stories.

4. Take Care Of Yourself

Yes I know, we've all heard about self-care so I'm gonna keep this one short, take care of your damn self! Go get a pedicure, brush your hair, take a bath. You need to care for yourself to be the best version of yourself.

Before Motherhood I wore a full face of makeup every day, I'm talking contour and eyeshadow every day. After I had my daughter I didn't wear makeup for three months straight! Until one day I realized wearing makeup helps me feel more like myself! So now I take time every morning to put on makeup! Maybe I don't wear eyeshadow every day but I do my version of a full face!

5. Don't Neglect Your Relationship

I know finding time to acknowledge your partner after having a baby is probably the hardest thing to do. You're both exhausted and would much rather lay on the couch watching T.V than spend quality time together. But it is so important to squeeze in a date night every once in a while! If you can't get a sitter order take out and have a nice meal together. Wait for your little one to go to sleep, throw on your comfiest PJ's and watch your favourite movie. Sometimes it's the simplest things that can make you feel close to your love again.

6. Ask For Help

I saved my best advice for last, the most important thing you can do to avoid losing yourself in motherhood? ASK FOR HELP. For some reason mom's feel like they have to do it all! But this only sets us up for failure.

It is impossible to have it all, you cannot be the CEO of a multi-million dollar company and be a stay at home mom. So guess what? you're going to have to ask for help. To go back to school? you're going to have to ask your mother in law to watch your little one a couple of hours a day. To complete your business model? you might have to ask your husband to make dinner.

There is no way in hell you can achieve everything you want in life without help. I know moms want to but that's just not possible!

If you're a new mom or a seasoned mama don't fall for this trap! You can ask for help, your babies will still love you just the same I promise!

Ladies, don't get lost in motherhood, embrace your passion! and keep pushing to be the best version of yourself!

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